The First Time In An Uncertain Era

The First Time In An Uncertain EraMy 1st gay experience was back in the early-2000s, I was an enlisted youngin' who lost his virginity to a woman at 20 years old. I found the who exchange wanting. It was only until I took up watch duty for a buddy who had surgery. He was racked out in the next room while I stayed up reading or something. Keep in mind that his was during the whole Don't Ask, Don't Tell era and, while my unit was somewhat friendly, there was always the risk of being found out which put into motion a long, horrible chain of events. I was still coming out to myself and really unsure of what I was.Anyhow, sometime during the night, I was racked out myself when I heard my buddy enter the room. Asking if he was alright, he said, "Yeah, I wanted to see how you were doing over here." It was awkward and I wasn't sure how to proceed...until he kissed me. Hard. The kind of kiss you get when you've been without for too long. The kind of kiss where your breath quickens and the tongue is freed, passion is unleashed as hands fumble to undo buttons, zippers, boots.He was hungry and I was nervous, not knowing how to handle all this so I did what a good student did: shut up, listen, and follow direction. We were both naked now, his hairy chest rubbed mine as he explored my body with his strong, rough hands. Eventually, he found my waiting hole and began to rub one finger around it, slightly pressing inward as I clenched involuntarily. I'd never been invaded by another guy but I had experimented with other things, tools of opportunity when one is too nervous to enter a sex toy store off-base.He rolled me over roughly, I understood why. We only had a few moments because who knew if anyone was surveilling or if there were bugs planted somewhere. The danger of being caught was almost as scintillating as the fumbling heat between our bodies.He was hard and I reached back to feel it, long and hot. Running my hand down the shaft, I took note of the girth which increased the lower I got. There was a slight curve and it pulsated as I gave it a squeeze before bringing my hands under my chest to brace for impact. Naturally, I pushed back to provide more purchase and he slowly rubbed his cock up between my ass cheeks. There was no lube, we hadn't planned this. He spit on his hand and rubbed it over his dick and massaged my hole with what was left. Slowly and firmly, he placed the head at the opening and pressed forward.Immediately, I tensed up and my hole attempted to push him out but he was laid on top me, biting my earlobe and whispering for me to relax. I had no choice so I breathed in and pushed out, he slid in deeper, the increasing girth stretched my lips wider and wider. In one breath and one smooth motion, he was all the way in and I felt him flex inside me, the curve of the shaft rubbing my insides. He stayed still, allowing me to acclimate to his shape and depth. I squeezed my muscles to tighten around him. I had wanted this so fucking bad and how fucking lucky was I to have my best buddy's hard, hot cock sheathed balls-deep inside me?At that moment, the urgency of the situation caught up with us and he slowly pulled back, pulling out leaving an empty feeling behind. I pushed back in response as he drove back in with a solid thrust, burying flesh in flesh almost soundlessly. Even in the throes of the exchange, we both understood we had to be quiet so there would be no verbal, skin-smacking sweat fest tonight. It was just fine however because this was a deeper, harder, more intimate fuck.When I tried to cry out, he closed my mouth and shushed me, his hardness slowly grinding deeper and deeper into me. I had grown accustomed to his size and was relishing every second of this invasion. Harder, deeper, over and over again. It seemed both too short and an eternity before his breath quickened in my ear, he whispered, "I'm gonna cum inside you, man. Is that okay?" To this, I answered, "Yes! Cum inside me, just do it!"His strokes quickened and his thrusts grew even more deep as he stifled a cry before unleashing his load inside my warm, wet hole. A warm sensation unfurled inside me as he filled me up with his hot cum. I felt his cock's head expand over and over as he almost silently pumped more and more inside me. How long had it been since he last came? I didn't know. All I know is that I was a happy, fucking cumhole for my best bud, for my very first time.Sweat-soaked, we laid together for a few minutes before the inevitable spell-breaking realization came upon us. His cock softened and slowly slid out of my now used hole. We both understood that we were now officially law-breakers, violators of a policy that had the power to destroy our livelihoods and reputations. And, really, is there a bigger buzzkill than that?Quietly, he pulled himself out of the bed and dressed. I watched him, silent and somber, slowly walk out the room, closing the door. In the aftermath, I was too satisfied, too surprised to understand that this was a one-time thing. Yes, we were best friends but, no, we could never be anything more, not the way things were for us. At the time, I was too invested in my work, I loved my job, I loved the military but I also loved other men and those two things couldn't coexist peacefully.Later, I feel into that newbie trap of falling for the first guy to fuck me. I thought I loved him and I told him so. He was understanding and matter-of-fact in letting me down not-so-easily. We fell out of touch for a while afterward. He started hanging out with other guys and I started my journey of self-discovery.Beyond the base gates was a world of possibilities, men of all shapes, sizes, ages, and more. I soon learned a few tricks of my own and got pretty good at living/working beneath the policy. In those days, gay men loved having a military guy in their bed. I suppose they still do but times were different back then, we HAD to hide or be hunted. There was a mystery to a military man.Looking back, I wouldn't change anything. Dave and I are still buddies, we went through a lot together when we both got out. He went back to Kentucky and I stayed on the West Coast. Sometimes, I close my eyes and remember that first and only night, the heat, the fear, the deepness of everything and it gives me a shiver because my entire body also recalls the feeling of his body, his cock, his load.